Promises

Promises are not always easy to keep, no matter how good the intentions were at the time you made the promise. This is a hard lesson for children, especially when they connect breaking a promise to a person as breaking a promise to God. Recently, Kate learned in a religious lesson at school that breaking a promise to a person is like breaking a promise to God. At least that is how she understood the lesson. Around that time, she made a very unrealistic promise to a friend in her class. I'll call this friend Michelle for the sake of privacy.

I am unsure what lead up to the promise, but Kate said she would give Michelle $126.00 for the book fair this week at school.

She asks to speak with me privately the night before her class is to visit the book fair. She is literally wringing her hands and is so nervous, but she manages the courage to ask me if she can take $126.00 out of her savings. For an 8-year-old to ask for this amount of money with this amount of apprehension is somewhat mind-blowing for a parent. I cannot describe what was going through my mind. With tears forming in her eyes, more wringing of her hands, I manage to get out of her why she needs this money. With relief, I restrain from laughing because she is still just at the end of her world.

We talked about how such promises are over-promises and that parents need to be consulted for these type of promises. I explained that even if I let her have the money that Michelle's parents would never be happy that Michelle accepted that kind of money no matter how many jobs they were working to make end meet.

Now we have an understanding of over-promises and that God would look at her intentions rather than the "breaking a promise" on judgment day! Her concerns turn to Michelle teasing her, being mad at her and/or telling the teacher. Kate really can get worried over a teacher giving her a detention (3rd grade, remind you)! We go over and over plans on how to explain things to Michelle and how to inform the teacher. Kate wants me there while she talks with the teacher. All night, she complained of a stomach ache from the nervous butterflies. She couldn't sleep. She continued to pull me aside discuss the plan and other options.

We finally get to school, I walk to the class room with Kate. Michelle and Kate have known each other since Kindergarten. Michelle excitedly waves to Kate and me. Kate turns to me and says, "That's ok, Mom, you can go."!